"He’s about as effective in this situation as a tampon at a nursing home"
…I was originally going for tampon in a hurricane, but since that might be slightly useful, I went with “he’s about as effective in this situation as a tampon at a nursing home.” I could have said a tampon at a bull ride I guess…but again, the absorption would be useful. Although, if you think about a tampon being just a tool for absorbing liquid, I guess a nursing home would have a lot of liquids to absorb…..
Why is the process of one thing absorbing another is called “absorption?” Where the hell did that “p” come from? Which brings us back to the nursing home. Circle of life.