Xtoq: Archive

5 tags

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips...”

– Judy Garland

Mar 31st

1 note

4 tags

Mar 31st

6 notes

6 tags

"He’s about as effective in this situation as a...

…I was originally going for tampon in a hurricane, but since that might be slightly useful, I went with “he’s about as effective in this situation as a tampon at a nursing home.” I could have said a tampon at a bull ride I guess…but again, the absorption would be useful. Although, if you think about a tampon being just a tool for absorbing liquid, I guess a nursing home would...

Mar 30th

1 note

5 tags

Mar 30th

5 notes

7 tags

Mar 30th

12 notes

4 tags

Mar 30th

7 notes

8 tags

Mar 30th

1 note

2 tags

Mar 30th

4 tags

Mar 29th

3 notes

8 tags

Mar 29th

2 notes

Mar 29th

5 tags

“You’re nothing short of my everything.”

– Ralph Block

Mar 29th

4 tags

Surprised? I think not.

I just discovered that Bieber’s newest single is called “Boyfriend.” This amuses me to no fucking end.

Mar 29th

1 note

4 tags

Mar 28th

7 notes

8 tags

Mar 28th

3 notes

5 tags

“Failure. When your best isn’t good enough.”

Mar 28th

4 tags

Mar 28th

1 note

7 tags

Deadpan

Nathan: how's work?
Smokie: Oh it's fine. Reviewing the emails from yesterday which was apparently slow as molasses.
Smokie: I always get weird about that idiom. I mean, moles aren't *that* slow. It would make more sense to say "slow as slothasses" but what do I know...
Nathan: Sweetie...
Nathan: Molasses is a viscous, syrup like substance
Smokie: Yes dear. I know.
Nathan: You just deadpanned me, didn't you...
Smokie: I sure fucking did!

Mar 28th

5 tags