It turns out Springfield Public Works has a sense of humor! Just passed a SPW truck with “Sewer Capacity Assurance Team” printed on the side. Good times!
Do you ever send me email that I don’t get?– (via clientsfromhell)
In class, the teacher says “how many of you have heard of DOS?” Only 3 people raised their hands. I feel so old.
"Bromance" added to the dictionary →
Yes, I’m serious.
People don’t get what they deserve, they just get what they get.– House
Tyrion: I once brought an ass and a honeycomb into a brothel...
Lysa: (interrupting) SILENCE!
Robin: (eagerly) What happened next?
Dear crazy woman in line with me at the store, These cords coming out of my ears are not hearing aids; they are, in fact, headphones and as such are not an invitation to fail at striking up a conversation and then act pissed off that I blatantly ignored your flapping pancake hole two inches from my face. Love, Smokie
I have CDO. It’s like OCD except the letters are in alphabetical order,...
In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens but the humblest...– Futurama
Waiting 20 minutes to log on: awesome. Finally getting online to see the server restart timer at 0:30: more awesome.
Grocery shopping: the hunting and gathering of latter millennia.– Smokie Darling
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MUSE IS A DELICATE ONE AT THE BEST OF TIMES AND I FEEL...– Nick Cave Letter to MTV
Bad decisions make good stories.